Saying Goodbye & Praying for Vision

Hello and happy 2024!!! As I type this, I am less than 24 hours away from leaving the U.S. for Korea! While it has been a hectic time of packing and saying my goodbyes, I wanted to write another blog post before I leave to capture some of the moments and thoughts I’ve experienced in this last month at home before departure. I also wanted to share a bit about the vision that God has given me for my time in Korea. Before I continue, I wanted to also express a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has followed along with my blog posts so far - it has been a little nerve wracking to put myself out there like this, but being met with people’s feedback and support has been so encouraging.

Saying Goodbye

Once December hit, I knew that I really had to start saying my goodbyes to people, especially since the holiday season was approaching. Outside of my family, I knew that my goodbyes would be primarily to my friends and my church community. November and December consisted of final meet-ups with friends, especially those who I don’t get to see very often. There were honestly so many meet-ups that, looking back, I’m not sure how I did all of it LOL. In retrospect maybe it would've been smarter to have one going-away bash, but I really value the one-on-one time I got to spend with my friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen in years. If you don’t already know this, I much prefer one-on-ones/smaller groups than big group settings, so even if the introvert in me was worn out by the frequent meet-ups, the value I find in these more intimate settings won over any inclination towards having a larger gathering.

Me when I see a large group

Saying goodbye to my church community was more of a gradual process, I guess because I see them more frequently than, say, my college friends. The first big goodbye I gave to my church community was at the last event of the year for our young adult ministry. We had a Christmas potluck banquet, and I was invited to share a testimony about my experience within the young adult ministry. Although a lot of people already knew about me going to Korea, I mentioned it at the end of my testimony sharing. After I finished speaking, I started to return to my seat, but the young adult pastor asked me to stay standing in front of everyone so that everyone could pray over me. I was really touched and honored that the young adult ministry prayed over me, especially because I didn’t expect it. I was only part of the young adult ministry for a year, but even in this short period of time I was able to build really meaningful friendships with other brothers and sisters in Christ, connections that helped me feel more of a sense of belonging at a time when I was still transitioning into this church as a new member.

Being prayed over at the last young adult event of the year

The second big goodbye to my church community was with my small group. My last gathering with my small group was last Thursday (1/4). I didn’t go into this last gathering with any particular expectations, although I knew my small group knew that this would be my last time with them. After our usual routine of eating dinner together, my small group leaders shared some updates about our small group for the new year, after which they announced that the rest of the evening would be focused on saying their goodbyes to me. One of the leaders made a Kahoot about me (this was a surprise to me LOL) which was fun, because it was a test to see who in my small group paid attention to things I said in the past and such. One of my favorite questions she put in the Kahoot was about the brand of the crossbody bag I always wear LOLOL (if you think you know the answer, let me know and I’ll be very impressed if you get it right!). After the Kahoot, my small group presented me with gifts they had for me, which included a bookmark for my Bible reading, a silver bracelet engraved with our small group name, printed photos of our small group (these will for sure be up on my wall in Korea), and a card they wrote me (which I’m saving for the plane ride to read). To end the night, each person in my small group shared a favorite memory or something they appreciated about me, after which my small group prayed over me. I left that night feeling so moved by everyone’s kind words, grateful for any ways I was able to be a blessing to them and likewise grateful for the ways they have been a blessing to me.

Gifts from my small group :')

The third and final big goodbye to my church community was on Sunday 1/7, the last church service I was able to attend before leaving the U.S. One of the biggest joys in my journey with this church was in serving on the Welcoming Team, AKA our hospitality ministry. When I gave our ministry head an advance notice about 1/7 being my last day at church, he gave me the option of serving if I wanted to but also understood if I’d rather rest. While I initially debated it, I ultimately said yes to serving and am so glad I did. It only made sense to end my time at this church (for now) doing what I loved to do the most in serving the Lord.

The sermon that our pastor preached was the start of a new series on the book of Ruth, focusing on Ruth 1:1-22. I didn’t realize it then, but upon reflecting and praying in response to the sermon the next day, God showed me some parallels between me and Ruth: Ruth said yes to going to a land where her family (her in-laws) is from but that she most likely had never been to, and she most likely didn’t really know what to expect. Likewise, I am saying yes to going to the land where my family is from that I have never been to, not fully knowing what to expect, either. Ruth 1:22 says that Ruth and Naomi came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest. Similarly, I believe that there is a spiritual harvest in Korea as I enter the country, and I am excited and expectant for how the Lord will reveal the harvest to me, how He will invite me to go into the harvest as one of His laborers. Ruth’s demonstration of sacrifice (she sacrificed her comfort by leaving Moab) had a significant spiritual impact, as she ultimately became part of the genealogy of Jesus Christ. This encourages me to think about how the Lord is inviting me to practice sacrifice in my own life as I enter into this new season in Korea, as well as the spiritual impact that my sacrifice to the Lord may have. It’s interesting, because sacrifice is actually the new theme for our church this year. The pastors and leaders have addressed this theme a few times already, and every time this theme was brought up before I felt a bit sad knowing that I wouldn’t be around to see it lived out in our church throughout the year. But rather than think of this theme as being irrelevant for me, I started to see that it could be just as relevant for me, too: my physical absence from this church doesn’t exclude me from also being able to participate in what it means for me to sacrifice to the Lord, even if it might look a little different. As our pastors have said, what we sacrifice doesn’t compare to Who we sacrifice for and how we can grow spiritually in doing so.

During the final worship song of the service, I started praying a prayer of gratitude towards God for being so generous and faithful to bless me with this church in this season of my life, and that’s when the tears started coming lol. I could barely sing the words to the song because I was overwhelmed with deep gratitude for this past season but also with sadness that this was it, that I wouldn’t be at this church next week or for a while. A huge thank-you to Sam for being there for me and for giving me space to process my emotions in that moment! After service, I said some last goodbyes to people, although I want to note that I definitely did not get to give a proper goodbye to everyone - if I didn’t get to give you a proper goodbye, I am so sorry and please know that I am so grateful for you! Overall, lots of tears were shed and many hugs were exchanged.

Me crying at the end of service

Praying for Vision

That brings me to the next part of my post, in which I wanted to share about the vision that God has given me as I head off to Korea. I truly believe that God does want me to go to Korea. I think He has made it very clear, especially with how He worked through various challenges I faced in the journey to getting here (I talk more about this in my second blog post if you haven’t read it yet!).

As I’ve prayed about vision for my year in Korea over the past few months, God has spoken to me on several different things, which I’ll share about briefly in no particular order:

1. Getting to work - God wants to put me to work in Korea. He keeps reminding me that the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few (Matthew 9:37). I’m not sure what exactly this will look like aside from teaching the students I’ll be working with, but I get the sense that God wants me to get knee-deep in serving Him this year, and I’m really excited to find out what this will look like. I know, however, that this work will not be easy and that I will likely be met with challenges along the way. As He puts me to work, I also sense the Lord inviting me to recognize the testimonies He builds in my life throughout this year and Him really challenging me to share these testimonies as a means to bear witness about Him - this blog is a huge means through which I hope to do that!

2. Reclaiming my heritage - Having grown up with an attitude of disinterest and ignorance towards my heritage, God is also inviting me to do the work to better understand my history as a second generation Korean American. He is inviting me to learn more about my cultural identity and my family history and to appreciate this identity in light of my greater identity as a daughter of God, that I would bring this back home with me even beyond my time in Korea.

3. Generations - The reason why my blog is called “Between Generations” is because as I prayed about vision, God has shown me that I’ll get to exist in a really interesting space between generations in Korea: He has put it on my heart to learn from the generations that have come before me (my ancestors, grandparents, aunts and uncles, even older members of the local community where I’ll be living), and He has also put it on my heart to equip and empower the next generation (and to learn from them, too!). At a retreat I attended about five years ago, the guest pastor had quoted another church leader who had said that “The next generation of leaders will be bicultural and bilingual.” This quote has stuck with me since, and it has encouraged me to want to support students as I teach them English, that they would feel empowered in learning a new language while still having pride in their native tongue and culture, that they would see their ability to engage in both languages and cultures as an asset that they will use to change this world positively.

At the start of the new year, I started reading the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible, having just finished reading Proverbs (the book right before Ecclesiastes) at the end of 2023. What has really stood out to me so far in Ecclesiastes is the passage in chapter 3 about how there’s a time for everything:

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

It has been very timely to read Ecclesiastes as I gear up to go to Korea, because it reminds me that, as wonderful as this year-long opportunity is, this is ultimately a season in my life that will pass. This season is significant and exciting, and it’s one in which God is inviting me to do Kingdom work, but it is short in light of eternity. As I read Ecclesiastes, and as I continue to pack and finish final preparations for going to Korea, I’m reminded and encouraged to hold an eternal perspective with my eyes and heart fixed on the Lord. And as I feel the sadness that comes with saying my goodbyes to home, it is this eternal perspective that comforts me and empowers me to head into this new season with joy and expectancy that God is just getting started with the work He wants to accomplish in me, through me, and around me.

Thank you for reading this blog post! The next time you see a blog update from me, I should be in Korea!!! Please keep me in prayer for safe travels and pray that I would desire to give God all of the glory in this journey as it begins.

In Christ,

Jen